Who is Theodore? Why do you adore him?

My Journey into Awareness

Parenting wasn’t quite what I thought it would be. I was the oldest child and had six siblings. I grew up babysitting and being a second mom to the younger kids. I knew exactly what kind of mom I was going to be and where I would probably falter.  I really thought that I was missing out on life by not being a mother. I had been torn for years over career vs. family. I knew I wanted to have a girl so we could be best friends and I could share all the missteps I made as a woman and she would vindicate me and my mistakes. She would be the best version of myself, my mother and my grand-mother all combined. She would never date a jerk and she would always put herself first. Sounds dreamy right? In all actuality, now it sounds like a crazy Frankenstein movie and not anywhere close to reality. 

So my first issue was obviously when I found out she was a he. I remember during my ultrasound the doctor was in a hurry and Theo was moving too much too see anything so I had to wait until the next appointment to verify I was having a girl. I already had her named Mila, it was a perfect name for a perfect girl.  When the doctor assured me in my second ultrasound that, and this is a direct quote, that  unless girls have penises, then I was indeed having a boy.  Shortly after, I found out I had gestational diabetes and I soon realized that meant good-bye to sweets which is a huge indulgence when you are pregnant. It’s like the sugar just tastes better when you have more hormones. At the time, I thought that life was unfair and this was the worst thing imaginable.  Little did I know, this was just the beginning to the the biggest ass kicking I was ever about to receive in my life and I’m not talking about childbirth.  

More to the story, coming soon…